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Jakarta – A people pleaser is someone whose instinctual response to prioritize the happiness and comfort of others above their own needs. They tend to show their own well-being.
Their empathy and desire for harmony can make hem incredibly supportive friends, partners, or colleagues, always ready to lend a hand or provide a listening ear.
However, the attitude to please everyone can also lead to feelings or exhaustion or a loss of personal identity as they constantly adapt to meet others' expectations.
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Learning healthy boundaries and practicing self-care are essential for people pleasers to maintain their own mental and emotional health while still being supportive to those around them.
According to research, around 14 percent of people who engage in this behavior tend to experience serious mental health issues such as anxiety, stress and depression.
The American psychologist Dr Juli Fraga has listed five signs to recognize people who like to please others in a conversation with the Washington Post.
1. Feeling out of control in social situations
Dr. Fraga explains that one of the strongest signs of a people pleaser is the need to control every social situation. This means that a people-pleaser will find it hard to accept the possibility that someone in their social circle doesn't like them.
If they feel that they cannot control how others perceive them or have to be rude in every conversation, then a people pleaser can get into very embarrassing situations. One sign of this is apologizing excessively to "not make them angry".
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2. Taking responsibility for other people's feelings
If you have ever seen someone in a bad mood and worried that it might be your fault, then this is a sign of your 'people pleaser' personality.
Taking responsibility for other people's bad moods and thinking of strategies to make them feel better is a sign that you are a people pleaser.
3. Agreeing with others to avoid conflict
If you have a habit of agreeing with others even if your opinion says otherwise, it is a sign of your people-pleasing nature. Avoiding conflict at all costs to make others like you is a great sign of people-pleasing behavior.
4. Easily says 'Yes'
Being willing to take on tasks and responsibilities can be a good habit at work.
However, if you end up taking on additional tasks and often overdoing it, then your life is about to get really bad.
5. Worrying your feelings don't matter
According to Fraga, people who like to please others tend to have the false belief that they should not express their opinions.
The psychologist mentions that such people worry that expressing their feelings "will be a burden, or cause someone to leave them".
